· I’m living next door to an aboriginal couple at the moment. They have 3 little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you while the kettle boils!
· Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its fucking hilarious.
· I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is good morning you ugly c _ _ t? It’s not yours is it?
· I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Fuck, did I give her a mouthful.
· Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was colour blind. I’m fucking worried now that some of my mates could be coons. If you are, can you delete my number? Ta
· A bloke starts work in a maternity hospital. Nurse tells him to bath a newborn aboriginal baby. She goes to check on him and he’s swishing the aboriginal baby round the bath with a stick. “You don’t bath a baby like that she said, he said, “You do when the water’s this fucking hot!”
· Husband says to his wife “do you fancy playing a rape game?” Wife says “no”. Husband replies “that’s the spirit!”
· There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
· I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, aboriginals and Lebanese rapists is not the correct answer.